I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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