He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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