why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
