My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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