dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
