he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
