cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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