What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
