"it" just moved
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
