After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
