I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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