I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
