he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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