God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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