i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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