Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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