the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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