she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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