Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize