drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
