Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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