So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
