so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
