Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
