ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
