once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize