is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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