He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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