god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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