just come out here and I will go home with you...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
