I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
