Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize