Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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