There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
