So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
