ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
