i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
