theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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