i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
