youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think people are normalizing furries
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
