So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
