Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I think i got beer on your cat.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
