Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
