I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My vagina just recognized that song.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
