so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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