Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize