i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ðŸ˜ðŸ’€#pensacolaproblems
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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