We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize