i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
