you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
