your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
