Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
