Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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