I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
