I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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