For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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