she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He has the fingertips of a God
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