I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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