guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
