she smelled like a LAN party
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
