you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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