So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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