I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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