No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
